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Three Easy Solutions to Create More Self-Compassion

emotional intelligence empathy love podcast self-care self-compassion Mar 18, 2022

Self-compassion is the antidote to perfectionism, depression, anxiety, forgiveness, and a myriad of other emotional and mental struggles.

Compassion means to be kind and understanding to someone when they are feeling down or experiencing a tough time.

Easy to do when that someone is your cute grandma or the puppy down the road. 

Pretty normal to feel true compassion if a friend falls and gets hurt or a neighbor suffers a heart wrenching loss.

However, for some reason, self-compassion feels impossible to many people.

You know those negative thoughts that sit and swirl around in your head? They're not true. They are exaggerations of facts and false assumptions your brain makes. If that thought swirling in your head can't be proven in a court of law and isn't something you would say to your best friend, it's not true and not compassionate.

Why do our negative thoughts matter?

When we are kind to ourselves and love ourselves for who we are in the moment - like truly love our whole, imperfect, messy, and conflicted self, we love others around us in deeper and unconditional ways. 

Although self-compassion takes some time and inner work to develop, it's possible for all of us to become more compassionate towards our own human natures.

We were not made to be perfect, expected to be perfect, or unworthy if we mess up. We're SUPPOSED to mess up. It is all part of the plan! If we never made mistakes we would never be able to improve.

Louise Hay says "Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."

Be careful with how you talk to yourself - because your brain is listening. It will record, remember, and repeat all the thoughts that you allow to circle inside.

How can I change?

  • When you find yourself stuck in a negative thought pattern, recognize what is happening and disrupt the cycle. Take a moment and ask yourself what you would say to your sweet grandma if she had those same thoughts. Think about what kind loving words you'd say to your sweet baby if it was being barraged with the same thoughts. Recognize that your negative thoughts are lies, exaggerations, and harmful.
  • Grab a piece of paper and a pen and start listing the negative thoughts that have been swirling around. Don't worry about spelling, punctuation, or grammar. Give yourself 3 minutes to get them all out. Then take that paper and rip it up and throw it in the garbage or light it on fire over the toilet bowl. 
  • Replace the negative thoughts with something neutral or positive immediately. Nature does not like empty space. You must fill it with thoughts that are helpful, kind, and loving. Thoughts such as "I am the daughter of a loving Heavenly Father." "I am loveable just the way I am." "I am strong and capable." "I am who I am meant to be." "I am trying to do the best I can." "I can make it through this." "I am authentically me."

Need more self-compassion tips? Listen to podcast Episode 17 about self-compassion https://www.comehometopeace.com/podcasts/come-home-to-peace/episodes/2147643581, Episode 27 about Positive Affirmations,  https://www.comehometopeace.com/podcasts/come-home-to-peace/episodes/2147675387, or Episode 29 on Overcoming Perfectionism, https://www.comehometopeace.com/podcasts/come-home-to-peace/episodes/2147677936

When you choose self-compassion you will feel at peace and be able to create more peace in your home. 🕊️

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